This morning i woke with a new sensation. It was an energy that i couldn't trace as to its source. It was a solitude, slightly sad but when i checked over all the possible situations causing it in my life, nothing made sense..it wasn't friends that were distant or any current situations of transition (including my yoga practice and teaching). My life is thriving, healing and well as of late. Just finished a successful weekend with Manju Jois, my dear friend & Yoga Guru form Encinitis (& India), have new loving and energetic musical endeavors..kirtans with Phil and our "celestial songbird group", Vasudeva, the Yoga ensemble with visions of "taking it on the road" and honoring the space between the notes.. see http://vasudevayogaband.wordpress.com/, gypsy jazz with Pat E. and Kevin W., fiddle students, finally the completion of Purple Lotus my solo album recorded partly in India to be released with a friend of mine's album at a dual party, new "intentional urban communities"--Mandala Yoga Community (we eat potluck breakfast every saturday together as well as other gatherings), the Experience Community Project Sanctuary on Jefferson..food co-ops, meditations, sound healing, community space & support, and my beautiful circle of family and friends far and wide...
So where did this feeling arise from? the deeper layers no doubt..and i settled into a feeling of compassion for those deeper layers within me and rested. At moments like these, i transcend the day to day details of life and sink into a much broader place of ALL the births, deaths and movements of life and beyond life to another matrix like level. Resting in this feeling of "all" is not pleasant nor unpleasant but very very FULL.
Then i realized what actually could be happening in my energetic field...i rose, turned on the Breveille Hot water pot for coffee and glanced into my backyard. Like may other days this week and before, deer were there....however today was different. Before it had always been groups or lately a Mother and its child hanging sometimes all day and into the next day. Not this morning, a solo deer was there. My Yard is a combo of wild and groomed and there are nooks and crannies behind the garden beds, yurt and lilac bush for the deer to eat and be comfortable amidst the domestic city life. However, today something odd ..the baby deer is alone resting quietly beside one of the eight g. beds that make a wheel. He or she is not eating but has a empty look in its eyes. Tears come to me and i wonder if that means that Mom has been injured or hit by traffic in its wanderings through urban westside Bend.
Those tears were for a real situation yet remind me of crying during a movie..the situation in front of our eyes reminding us of the things that we have experienced in life as loss, sorrow.
And yet, these tears are also freeing since life and death are equal players in reality and its the acceptance that brings more light to life. Anyone have any ideas about whether i should try to feed this creature or not?
So where did this feeling arise from? the deeper layers no doubt..and i settled into a feeling of compassion for those deeper layers within me and rested. At moments like these, i transcend the day to day details of life and sink into a much broader place of ALL the births, deaths and movements of life and beyond life to another matrix like level. Resting in this feeling of "all" is not pleasant nor unpleasant but very very FULL.
Then i realized what actually could be happening in my energetic field...i rose, turned on the Breveille Hot water pot for coffee and glanced into my backyard. Like may other days this week and before, deer were there....however today was different. Before it had always been groups or lately a Mother and its child hanging sometimes all day and into the next day. Not this morning, a solo deer was there. My Yard is a combo of wild and groomed and there are nooks and crannies behind the garden beds, yurt and lilac bush for the deer to eat and be comfortable amidst the domestic city life. However, today something odd ..the baby deer is alone resting quietly beside one of the eight g. beds that make a wheel. He or she is not eating but has a empty look in its eyes. Tears come to me and i wonder if that means that Mom has been injured or hit by traffic in its wanderings through urban westside Bend.
Those tears were for a real situation yet remind me of crying during a movie..the situation in front of our eyes reminding us of the things that we have experienced in life as loss, sorrow.
And yet, these tears are also freeing since life and death are equal players in reality and its the acceptance that brings more light to life. Anyone have any ideas about whether i should try to feed this creature or not?
